Handling Upset Like a Pro

Being upset hurts!

We’re distracted by it, angry with ourselves for feeling it, our bodies suffer over it, and we do dumb things when motivated by it. If not addressed and released the problem multiplies.

You know it’s true, yet you don’t let it go. Honestly contemplate the next sentence and I believe you can begin dissolving the upset right now... Making yourself wrong for whatever you did consumes your life energy and tattoos the mistake to your forehead! 

So you lost it, you blew it, you were a complete idiot or worse. Dwelling on it, resisting that it occurred, or replaying it in your head is what stops you from getting over it! Getting mad at your self is what keeps the turmoil in place. You beating yourself up mysteriously instructs others to join in and attracts situations and circumstances that prolong the beating. Weirdly, strangers, clients, bosses, co-workers, and everyone complies without knowing why. 

How you feel matters. What you are experiencing inside is really important. Have you ever considered how much what you feel consumes your attention? How many times a day do you check and see how you feel, notice how you feel, resist how you feel, blame how you feel, wonder how you feel, or wish you felt different? Every waking moment is about what you feel! The crazy part of this is that most people are hoping that someone or something outside of them will make them feel better. This solution never lasts for very long.

How you feel isn’t the responsibility of anyone outside of you. It never was, and it never will be. What you are experiencing is the one thing in your world that you have complete control over. Unfortunately, we were never taught how simple this can be. If you’re like most people you were instructed to keep your feelings to yourself. You learned that how you felt inside was NOT as important as making sure others were happy. To garner approval and be considered smart and able, you probably learned to keep your feelings to yourself and please others. Pretending and denying became a valuable skill. Not feeling was a sign of strength!

Guess what, we got really good at it. We swallowed emotion and upset so efficiently it disappeared, or at least it seemed to. For me it was when physical issues started showing up that I noticed the collection of emotion I held inside my intestines. Stuffing feeling shows up differently for everyone... anxiety, depression, insomnia, addiction, migraines, intestinal issues, and emotional outbursts to name a few. Avoidance eventually presents itself as an inability to forgive self or another. Making yourself wrong just adds girth to the issue. It isn’t uncommon or unnatural to resist feeling something.

Becoming honest and aware is the first step.

I’ve had clients discover a heartfelt need to be upset. They were operating out of the belief that when they made a mistake the proper thing to do was suffer for it. Being punished was the best way they knew to pay for what they did. The trouble was, when I asked them how long they had to hurt to remedy the situation the answer was: forever. They never considered they had suffered enough to pay their debt. This is self-sabotage in full force. Unconsciously they were paying for past mistakes with their health, lack of wealth, and by attracting people into
their life that would mistreat them. All in an effort to be a good person! Some even discovered they’d been wearing their upset and hardship like a badge. 

Unfortunately they were never shown how to let go of the past. They didn’t know they could use their mistake as an opportunity to offer something profound to the world. They hadn’t considered how releasing the upset was a choice, one that deeply touched all those in their midst.

Once they understood, there was no turning back!

The books, courses, lectures, articles and videos are all created with the intention that you see and own what you’re capable of. I know you can let go of what’s hurting and experience peace, because I did.

Practicing Catch & Release is amazing. It is changing my life and I plan for it to continue changing my life forever!
— Lucy Isbell, Artist

Posted by Holly Riley.