My dear momma passed at 12:07 this morning.
The space holding me felt vast and strangely peaceful. Something was opening that had been closed. It felt soothingly huge like the sky had no ceiling. I think it was the feeling of eternity.
I went for a drive. It seemed the world had stopped turning. I felt a stillness surrounding all the moving parts. I was seeing life differently, my awareness seemed to include everything from horizon to horizon. It was surreal. I started singing to mom in a melodic tone, “ma ma ma ma ma ma ma,” (When I telephoned her this is how I’d say hello). I sensed her near and appreciation poured through me. Her playful presence was sparkling joy. It was her, I could feel her essence. She was touching me, smiling into me, and loving me completely. I let it in and it seemed to grow even stronger. I whispered, “Hi Momma.” She swirled with delight at my being able to feel her.
It felt so natural for her to ride down the road with me. I looked up to the sky and whispered, “Thank you.” The clouds were in an angelic pose while the wind bellowed a soft yes. I felt blessed beyond the tiny-ness words can convey. Mom stayed with me for quite a while and we hugged like never before. She was free, complete and fulfilled and wanted me to know it.
I cried.
Angel in the sky - captured by our son Travis on the evening his grandmother passed
Wishful I spoke to the sky, “Momma talk to me, how is it?”
A memory instantly appeared... A few years back I attended a lecture of Abraham Hicks. Esther’s husband Jerry had recently transitioned. This is what I heard Abraham say… When Esther is in the receptive mode (feeling appreciative and open) Jerry can communicate with her. If she is in sorrow or stuck in an old memory of Jerry, she can’t hear him. Jerry isn’t existing on that plane anymore. It’s when Esther gets into that highflying place, in presence, that she can be with Jerry. The other day Esther was getting into her car and she’d been wanting to hear from Jerry. She was thinking strongly about wanting his opinion on a project. Out of nowhere she had an urge to turn on the radio. Jerry came though loud and clear with a message. One of the songs he used to sing was playing and it offered the guidance Esther had been looking for.
Honestly, I don’t listen to the radio. I barely know how to find a station on my system, but my hand went right for the tuner like I knew what I was doing. You won’t believe what was playing, one of mom's favorite songs…
I'm singing in the rain
Just singing in the rain
What a glorious feeling
I'm happy again
I'm laughing at clouds so dark up above
The sun's in my heart and I'm ready for love
Let the stormy clouds chase everyone from the place
I've a smile on my face
I walk down the lane with a happy refrain
I’m hap hap happy again...
She used to sing this song when we were little. It was pure heaven to hear those words, only now they were coming from mom's heart. Somehow appreciation opened that invisible doorway of time and space so I could be with her. I hope this helps you connect with your beautiful loved ones.
Singing in the Rain with you,
